Backpacking, beer and peeing in the woods
There’s nothing like pulling your pants down to take a quick pee in the woods. It’s liberating, yet at the same time I’m constantly checking to make sure no woodland creature comes and takes a nip at my bum. Or my husband isn’t around the corner trying to catch me with my pants down. But since I’ve finally gotten over peeing in the woods, I decided it was time to go backpacking.
After years of asking me if I want to go backpacking, I finally relented to my husband. I figured I can do it as long as it isn’t much of a hike to our destination. Jared found the perfect beginner trip, Wall Lake, in the Uinta Mountains. It’s was only a mile in and once we got there we could go on a hike. After telling anyone I ran into, the lady at the grocery store, the kid in line for ice cream, I was going BACKPACKING, I almost psyched myself out.
Uh-guh wearing a backpack that’s heavy, dragging all that stuff up there…What was I thinking? What do I have to prove? Do I really NEED to go on this trip? And then seeing the look of disappointment on my husband’s face when I said I don’t want to go. Spousal guilt got the better of me and I said fine — into the woods we’ll go.
The day before the trip we got everything ready before we went to work. When I got home there were empty Clif Bar wrappers, a torn and half eaten dehydrated chicken and rice dinner, and a bloated, gassy dog. Fortunately, due to my inability to make a decision, my husband had bought 3 different backpacker meals.
In the morning we got up, left the house, and met up with our friends Arikka and Matt, and their two dogs. We drove past Kamas and pulled into the Crystal Lake trail-head parking lot. It was FULL. Boyscouts were tumbling out of the woods, troop by troop, some carrying trash bags full of their belongings. Even the dogs had their own packs, filled with their food, water, and of course beer. Since they were out in nature the dogs ran wild, and then Lucy (our dog) ran into a rock and a beer exploded. As we yelled at her, beer drained out the bottom of her pack, I almost felt like saying this trip is over.
We soldiered on and finally made it to the lake, defeated and irritated. We made our way through the trees down to the lakeside. That’s when one of the other dogs took the time to roll in human diarrhea. He even went back to try and take a quick nibble from the pile. My gag reflexes coiled and I again almost announced it was time to quit while we were still ahead. Just when I was ready to give up, we found the perfect place to set up camp. It was next to the water, there were trees to hang our hammocks, and enough foliage for me to pee behind.
After going on a 6 mile hike around the different lakes, we made it back to camp just as the rain started to fall. We grabbed beer, a tarp, and fritos with bean dip, and decided to try and make a fire. Two beers, and an hour later, Matt grabbed the Jetboil, and used the flame to get the fire going. The mood was set, we relaxed by the fire and ate our dinner. Once the wine was gone, the flask empty, it was time for bed. I headed for the shrubbery with my headlamp to use the restroom. I turned off the lamp, so as not to illuminate myself, and looked up at the stars. It’s easy to forget how beautiful the night sky is when you live in an urban area. All those stars, glittering, just waiting to be noticed, brought peace to my jittery mind.
In the morning we took our time getting ready to leave, laying in the hammocks, reading, napping, or watching the dogs chase squirrels. As we donned the packs, which felt much lighter than the day before, I felt kind of sad we were heading back to the cars. Backpacking wasn’t so bad after all and I could of stayed one more night. But we were out of booze, so I don’t think we had much of a choice except to head back to civilization.