Two things we do pretty well here in Utah are bikes and beers. Leave it to Mike D (who does insane bike rides while eating junk food) to find a way to combine the two into one hell of a day. A few years back, Mike got to thinking: why not ride to every single brewery in the valley in one day, quaffing delicious craft brew and cranking out miles? Sounded like a great plan to me, and last Sunday I got the call that it was go time.
Mike pedaled over to the Casa de Malavolta and we hit the road around 11:30am. The first leg of the Bikes n’ Beers tour took us straight down 900 East all the way to Hoppers Brewery on Fort Union Blvd. The first brew of the day was hour-appropriate: Pale Morning Ale. Okay, it technically wasn’t morning anymore, more like early afternoon, but we thought it was fitting. The crisp taste got our palettes prepped for the rest of the day, and we headed a few blocks west to Bohemian Brewery, also located on Fort Union Blvd. There we manned up (seriously) and enjoyed some 32 oz burly mugs of their delicious Octoberfest beer. For me, any brewery worth their salt has to brew up at least one good seasonal, and the Bohemian Octoberfest was proof that this place does it right. There was no time to linger at the bar (which is adorned with actual hops plants anchored to the ceiling), our toughest leg was about to start.
Mike D pointed out our route on his phone: from Bohemian we were to take a leisurely ride along the Jordan River Parkway Trail, exit on 1700 South and make our way to Uinta Brewery. Truly the Queen’s Stage of our ride, this would be 10 mile leg burner through some great riverside scenery. Okay, the walls of tamarisk may not be the prettiest flora in the valley, but the Jordan River Parkway is a great trail system that helped us get from one end of the valley to the other without having to deal with the madness of State Street traffic. I’ll deal with the funky river smell any day for service like that! About an hour later we arrived at Uinta, and I treated myself to a Bristlecone Brown Ale. It was my first time trying this beer, and I thought it had pretty unique flavor for a brown. Smooth, big bodied, but lacking a lot of the nuttiness that is often the signature with these brews. It paired up delightfully with the turkey and cheddar on a Uinta roll.
After Mike handled some tire repairs, it was back to the streets. We pedaled towards downtown and locked up the rigs outside of Red Rock Brewery on 200 West. The clock was nearing 4pm as I saddled up to the bar and ordered an Elephino Double IPA. I was amazed I was able to hold off from ordering an IPA for so long, and it was worth the wait. Beware, though, as the Elephino packs a solid punch at 8%. We reached the halfway point of our day, and soon it was out the door for a tough 2 block ride to Squatters Brewery just around the corner. We started with Wasatch Ghost Rider White IPAs, and then it was on to the nitro-keg Red Ryder. Both went down easily in the heat of the afternoon, and we were pumped to knock out two breweries in one stop. The home stretch was coming! Good thing, too, because I was beginning to get little loopy from riding in the sun and downing so many good pints.
Epic Brewery on State Street was the penultimate location on the tour. Of course, you can’t drink a beer at Epic without ordering food, and we were happy to do just that. My ham and cheese panini was tasty, but couldn’t hold a candle to the mighty Big Bad Baptist that I washed it down with. If I wasn’t a bit inebriated before, the Baptist sure did the job! A true Imperial Stout, the Baptist lives up to its name while delivering a bold coffee flavor with hints of cocoa. Perhaps a bit much for this point in the day, but I just couldn’t say no. We carefully cranked our way over to Deseret Edge for the final stop of the tour. A mellow crowd enjoyed the Monday Night Football game as Mike and I downed our last pints of the day. Once we wrapped up, we unlocked the bikes for the final time and exchanged some high fives. We were both a little loopy, but no worse for wear. I had a big old grin plastered on my mug as I made the ride back home. It was a ten hour day of riding, drinking, and shooting the breeze with a good friend, and frankly I can’t think of a better way to spend a late summer day off. Will this be the only incarnation of the Utah Bike n’ Beer Ride? Who knows…but if my phone rings next summer, you better believe I’ll take the call.
*Author’s Note: We had to skip Avenues Proper Brewery due to their Monday closure. Get ya next time, guys!